everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
