shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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