You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize