Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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