Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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