I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
