didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There's always time for handjobs
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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