Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
