i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
