Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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