Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize