standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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