How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
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His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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