i think my tv is drunk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
