i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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