sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
