This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
