I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
