After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
