so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
