I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
