if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
