She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
