so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Operation Purity has been aborted
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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