How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
