Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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