I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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