Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
