thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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