I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
