even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
