So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
