Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
