Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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