White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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