there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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