I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
