brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
