wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize