So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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