Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
