I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
