Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
