Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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