Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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