how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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