I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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