nut hugger
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
