just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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