she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
