You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
