You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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