I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
