If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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