I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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