Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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