Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize