relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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