Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
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is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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