And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
