bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
is it fun? or sober?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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