just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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