she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize